Healthy and Strong Relationship Tips

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You know, if you’re new to dating or have a long-term relationship, how can you find great love or keep the love you have? It can be helpful to read some love tips from successful couples, whether you’re just starting out or have been married for a long time. We brought together a group of these happy couples (and one single guy!) and asked them to share some of their tried and true love tips with us so that we, too, can be a part of that select group of joyful people.

You should never take your partner for granted.

The couple has been living together for four years. “Love tips?” Kaitlin says, “Never take your partner for granted,” and Jesse agrees. “Each day, I tell Kaitlin how much I appreciate her presence in my life. I never let her head hit the pillow without telling her how special she is to me.

When I was married before, I took my wife for granted and it led to our marriage failing. I don't want that to happen again so I am careful to remind Kaitlin how grateful I am for her."

Marry someone you truly like, not just someone you love

Robert and Shirley celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary this year. She shares her love tips: "I married my best friend. I'm not kidding. Robert and I have been friends since elementary school. After he graduated from the military academy, we started dating and got married.

Being in the Air Force meant we moved every couple of years, so our marriage has seen many changes. In spite of all these transfers, our love is rooted in a true friendship. Robert has my back and I have his. We have an unbreakable trust in our marriage that keeps us going through tough times. So here's my love tip: marry someone you really like and love.”

Relationship expectations that are the same

“I think two people must have the same expectations of what they want out of a relationship in order for a relationship to work,” Philip tells us his love tip after one year of dating Carolyn. Carolyn and I wanted to have an open relationship, which is what is commonly referred to as polyamory these days.

As a result of my girlfriend's expectation of complete faithfulness and monogamy, my last relationship did not work out. Then I met Carolyn, who shared my desire to have multiple experiences but also wished to have one primary partner. I broke up with her because I did not want that. You are setting yourselves up for conflict and disappointment unless your love partner shares the same values and expectations about what you want out of the relationship as you."

Sharing the same values and aspirations in life

Having dated for two years, Leah tells us her love tip: "I dated a lot before I met Samuel. We were introduced by friends from our synagogue. I knew Samuel was tall and cute, and fairly active at the temple."

However, it wasn't until we were set up that I had a chance to speak one-on-one with him. As soon as I saw us, I knew there was something. We clearly had the same values and grew up in the same environment. We were both graduates of the Ivy League and we worked for well-known financial institutions, so we didn't have all the stress that may occur when you are your partner comes from a different socioeconomic class. We had so many things in common that getting together was effortless. It was like we were speaking the same language.

When I was a kid, I was all about dating ‘bad guys’, that is, guys from the wrong side of the tracks. I thought that was sexy and made me look daring. In order for a relationship to work well with as little conflict as possible, marry someone who has similar upbringing and aspirations as you do. It will make things much easier.”

Find someone who is different from yourself.

"I love that Randall was totally different from me. I don't want someone who is a carbon copy of me. That's just boring. I want someone whose narrative teaches me something, and Randall is like from another planet.

When he was a teenager, he immigrated to the United States from Haiti. His family was poor and uneducated, but he knew they could have a better life here.

Me?

It is impossible for me to be more 'typically American' than I am. I believe that great relationships are formed when the two partners can teach each other something, so diversity within a couple is a good thing. My love tip? Look for the person who will open your eyes to something you never knew you had been missing.”

Identify what you don't want in a partner

Mark is not yet in a relationship, but is active on several dating platforms. “Something I've discovered about finding love through dating websites is that you can't have a hard list of what you're looking for in a partner. Having a list of what you're not looking for is helpful.

I’m very open to being flexible about what I’m seeking, but there are a few non-negotiable things that say “no deal” to me as I look through the women’s profiles. No matter how much you want a relationship, you have to stick to these non-negotiables. The best love tip I have is to define what you don't want rather than what you want."

There is no specific recipe to a successful relationship, but some simple advice can assist you in getting through it better.