Parent’s Guide to Teaching the Word Please

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Teaching children manners is one of the most important aspects of parenting. Among the earliest and most essential words a child can learn is “please.” While it may seem like a small word, its significance is enormous. Saying “please” fosters respect, kindness, and empathy—qualities that help children succeed in social situations and build strong relationships. In this guide, we’ll explore why the word “please” matters, when and how to teach it, and practical strategies parents can use to make polite language a natural part of everyday life.

Why “Please” Is Important

“Please” is more than a polite word—it’s a fundamental building block of good manners and respectful communication. It teaches children that other people’s feelings and choices matter. By saying “please,” children learn that they can’t demand things—they must ask respectfully.

This small word also helps children understand that they’re part of a world filled with people who deserve kindness and courtesy. Learning to say “please” encourages humility and patience. It also improves the way children are perceived by others—teachers, peers, and adults are more likely to respond positively to a polite child.

When to Start Teaching “Please”

Parents can begin teaching the word “please” from a very early age, often around 12 to 18 months when children begin to use simple words. Even before they speak clearly, toddlers understand tone and gestures. By modeling polite requests and associating the word “please” with a positive response, children begin to grasp its value.

Don’t worry if your toddler doesn’t always remember to say it. What’s important is consistent modeling and gentle reminders. Over time, it becomes a habit.

How to Teach the Word “Please”

1. Lead by Example

Children imitate the adults around them. If you regularly say “please” when making requests—to your child, your partner, or others—they’ll begin to mirror your behavior. This modeling reinforces the idea that “please” is not just something children are expected to say, but something everyone uses.

For example:

• “Can you hand me the toy, please?”

• “Please help me set the table.”

One great way to introduce polite language is through storytelling. Books like Say Please, Ellie: Learning How To Say The Magic Word (Ellie The Chick Book 2) provide young readers with relatable examples and fun illustrations that bring manners to life. In this story, Ellie the little chick learns how the magic word “please” helps her get along better with her friends and family.

2. Use Gentle Prompts and Praise

When your child makes a request without using “please,” offer a gentle reminder. Avoid scolding or shaming. Instead, use it as a teaching moment:

Child: “I want a cookie!”
Parent: “Let’s try that again with a ‘please.’”
Child: “Can I have a cookie, please?”
Parent: “That’s much better—thank you for asking so nicely!”

This approach reinforces the behavior while keeping the learning experience positive and encouraging. When your child uses “please” without being prompted, celebrate it with praise: “I loved how you asked so politely!”

3. Make It Fun

Young children learn best through play. Use games, songs, and role-playing to make learning manners enjoyable. You might set up a pretend restaurant where your child is the customer and must order food by saying “please.” Or sing a silly song that repeats polite phrases like “please” and “thank you.”

Books and interactive videos can also play a major role. Choose content where characters demonstrate manners in action. Stories like Say Please, Ellie make the word “please” feel magical and exciting, helping reinforce the behavior naturally.

4. Be Consistent with Expectations

If you expect your child to say “please,” you’ll need to be consistent about it. That means not giving in to demands that are made rudely. At the same time, don’t make politeness a battle. If your child refuses, stay calm and explain why “please” matters:

“You can have a snack when you ask with your kind words.”
“I know you’re upset, but we still use polite words when we talk to others.”

With time and repetition, the habit will take root.

5. Teach the Meaning Behind the Word

As children grow older, help them understand that saying “please” isn’t just a way to get what they want. It’s about showing respect and acknowledging that others have feelings and the right to say no. You might say:

“Saying ‘please’ shows the person you’re asking that you’re being kind, not demanding.”

Also, it’s important to teach that using “please” doesn’t guarantee a “yes.” If your child asks politely but the answer is “no,” praise their good manners anyway:

“You asked very nicely, and I’m proud of you. But we’re not having ice cream right now.”

This helps children accept boundaries while reinforcing the importance of politeness.

Overcoming Common Challenges

Some children may resist saying “please” or only do it when they want something specific. In these cases:

• Stay patient: Habits take time to form. Don’t expect perfection.

• Stay positive: Use encouragement, not criticism.

• Use natural consequences: If a child demands instead of asks, simply wait until they rephrase the request with “please.”

It’s also helpful to have a family “kindness chart” or sticker reward system for using polite words. Make it visual and fun.

Final Thoughts

Teaching your child to say “please” is one of the first steps toward building a foundation of respect and empathy. It may seem small, but it carries great power in shaping the way children relate to others and express themselves.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to teach polite words—it’s to help children grow into kind, thoughtful individuals who understand the value of treating others with respect. And like any skill, it takes practice, patience, and positivity. With your guidance—and maybe a little help from Ellie the Chick—your child will learn that “please” truly is a magic word.