Law Offices of David Gabay

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New York Divorce Law Blog : New York Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Law Offices of David A. Gabay, PC : Serving New York City, Long Island, Suffolk County, Nassau County

Law Offices of David A. Gabay, PC
Insight & commentary for owners of businesses, professional practices and their families

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been experimenting with using fixed and flat fees in certain types of family law cases. Frankly, the response from prospective clients has been very positive. Potential clients seem to like the idea that their costs is fixed and set, and that they can plan and budget for their case. This makes sense from their point of view.
From my side of the table, I’ve come around to the view that it is in fact possible to properly estimate the costs of basic family law cases such as a child support petition, a paternity petition, and some types of visitation matters. I can use my experience and knowledge of the Court system and procedures, and I can also use my own experience in interviewing clients during a consultation to determine what is likely to happen over the course of a case.
For more information on New York family law matters, please visit www.GabayLawFirm.Com or www.EZDivorce.com

Finding the right attorney for your divorce can be a real challenge. It requires asking specific questions and taking specific steps to determine which attorney is best for you in your own special case. Choosing the wrong attorney may ultimately cost you a great deal of money, time, and frustration.
Divorce can be a highly emotional, stressful, and intimidating process. There is almost no area of the law which requires as much paper work or the filling out and filing of forms and other documents. This process can be confusing and costly, both financially and emotionally.
As a result, your choice of a divorce lawyer may be one of the most important decisions you make in your case.
Not every lawyer will be right for you. You must be sure that your philosophy of how to handle your divorce case matches that of your lawyer, and that the two of you are ‘on the same page.’ Because of this, you must ask questions and gather information which reveal the attorney’s philosophy for handling divorces.
This post will help you understand the important facts and questions you must know and deal with when selecting your divorce attorney. By understanding how to select the right divorce lawyer for you and your special case, you will get through your divorce with the least amount of cost and stress.
Researching Your Lawyer
Once you have selected a lawyer to meet with, the next thing you should do is to find out about the lawyer’s professional experience and background. There are several ways to do this:
1. Search the Internet: Make a Google search for your lawyer. Look for a legal blog, a website, news stories quoting or featuring the attorney, and other online information. Ideally, your lawyer should devote almost all of his or her practice to divorce law.
2. Contact the New York State Office of Court Administration: http://www.courts.state.ny.us. This office can tell you when the attorney was admitted to practice law in New York, where he or she went to school and when he or she graduated, and whether the attorney is in good standing or has a record of disciplinary actions.
3. Ask Around: You should ask your circle of friends and professional advisers (accountants, attorneys, marriage therapists, etc) what they know about the attorney, or if they know someone who does know about the attorney.
Contacting the Lawyer’s Office and Scheduling Your Initial Consultation
Now that you have selected a lawyer to interview and have done research on him or her, the next step is to contact the lawyer’s office and schedule an appointment. You can learn a lot about how your lawyer will behave if you retain him or her just by how he or she handles the simple but important task of scheduling a meeting with you, a potential new client.
You should first contact the attorney’s office by telephone or e-mail and request an appointment. When you do this, it is important to tell the lawyer’s office that you would like to discuss a divorce case.
Take careful note of how quickly your message is answered. Your inquiry should always be answered promptly, and that means within 24 hours. If the lawyer you contacted cannot manage to reply to a potential new client who is bringing him or her a new case and therefore new fees, that fact should tell you something about how he or she will behave once he or she already has your money.
Also, pay close attention to who you deal with in setting the appointment and how you are treated. Most good divorce lawyers rely on an assistant to schedule their appointments, and that person is very often responsible for much of the day to day communications and interactions with you once you hire your attorney. If you are not comfortable with the assistant who sets your appointment, it is a sign that the attorney may not be right for you and your case.
Finally, you should ask about the cost of the initial consultation. A good divorce lawyer will often charge an initial consultation fee equal to one hour of his or her time at their usual hourly rate. This fee usually is credited to your account if you eventually hire the attorney.
Visiting Your Lawyer’s Office; What You See and Hear is What You Get
The experience of meeting your lawyer at his or her office is critical to determining whether this attorney is a good fit for you and your special case. An attorney’s office is, in effect, his or her professional home. And the rules that apply to a lawyer’s professional home are the same as those that apply to your own home. So, you should pay careful attention to what you see and hear in your lawyer’s office.
1. Visit during normal business hours. I try to encourage my potential new clients to visit my office during normal hours when my staff is present. Why? Because I want them to meet my staff and see just how well they take care of clients. While I also keep night hours for the convenience of some potential clients, those clients do not get the opportunity to observe the office fully at work. So, in order to be able to observe the attorney, the office, and staff in their normal work routine, I suggest you schedule your appointment during normal business hours whenever possible.
2. Is the office neat and clean? This tells you something about how organized and focused the lawyer is. If the office is a mess and there are papers and files everywhere, imagine how that will affect the lawyer’s ability to find your file and deal with your case at critical moments.
3. How does the attorney and his or her employee’s behave towards you and each other? It is important to observe how the lawyer’s staff treat you and each other during your visit. What you see when you are there is likely to be their best behavior. If you are not well taken care of during your visit or you observe inappropriate behavior during your visit, you can be certain this conduct will get worse once you are a client of the firm and the attorney has your money in hand.
Interviewing Your Lawyer; 9 Questions You Should Always Ask
Preparing for your interview with your lawyer will help you make a better and more informed decision. You should organize discussion topics prior to meeting and bring with you any relevant paperwork. Your lawyer may need some of the documents you bring with you so be prepared and retain copies for your own records. If you can, you should write down dates and times of events, the names and addresses of any witnesses and any other important facts.
You should try to understand that lawyers have professional and ethical commitments to all of their other clients, so you should expect your interview to last about 30-45 minutes on average.
During the interview, you will be able to tell your attorney why you are getting divorced, and what problems need to be addressed regarding your children, your property, and your debts.
At some point during the meeting, you should be able to ask questions about your case. You should try and write down as many of your questions as you can before the meeting so that you make sure you remember to ask them.
In my experience, there are nine questions you should always ask a divorce lawyer during your interview. The answers to these questions will tell you a good deal about your attorney and if he or she is right for you.
1. How much experience do you have with cases like mine?

3. What other types of cases do you handle?
4. How do you communicate with clients? For example, e-mail, text message, telephone, regular mail?
5. How fast do you answer calls and other communications from clients?
6. How much will your services cost me, and what is your upfront retainer fee?
7. Do you bill for normal business ‘overhead’ such as faxes, postage, and photocopies?
8. How long does a case like mine usually take if there are no unusual developments?
9. What is your philosophy or style of handling divorces? Why?
Deciding Which Lawyer is Right for You
While you are interviewing a lawyer, you should listen carefully to the answers provided. You should also pay extremely close attention to your lawyer’s personality, his or her manners and behavior, and how you feel during the interview. How does the attorney make you feel? Comfortable? At ease? Does he or she treat you as an equal and with respect? Or do you feel like the attorney has a superior attitude and talks down to you? Has the lawyer spent meaningful time with you and provided answers to your questions and concerns in a friendly and appropriate manner?
How you feel about your lawyer and how he or she behaves towards you will absolutely affect your ability to trust and communicate effectively with that person over emotional and highly personal matters. After the interview, assess the strengths and weaknesses of the candidate. Did the lawyer listen to you? Did the lawyer provide enough information to make you feel comfortable that he or she knew the law and procedure in your county? Did you feel confident?
Once you have reviewed and considered the interview and how the attorney behaved and made you feel, what you saw and heard in dealing with the attorney’s office in scheduling and conducting the interview, the answers to your questions, and the costs and fees for hiring the attorney, you now have the information and experiences necessary to decide which attorney best suits your needs.
For more information on divorce in New York, please visit www.GabayLawFirm.com or www.ezdivorceinfo.com
Tags: Choose, DIVORCE, Divorce and Separation, HIRE, Lawyer

One of the most enjoyable aspects of being a divorce attorney is meeting and taking with new people who are considering a divorce. I love meeting with potential new clients because there is so much happening in their lives and they generally have a lot to say about themselves and their spouse and family. It is truly a frenzied time in their lives, and they are desperately searching for information and answers about divorce: how it works, what they can expect, what they will gain, and what they will lose.
On the other hand, precisely because these men and women are so incredibly stressed, confused, and unsure of what is happening in their lives and what the future holds for them, they tend to avoid making decisions about what they are going to do. It is as if the stress and confusion in their lives causes them to ‘freeze,’ and they cannot or will not commit to any one course of action, and they certainly will not commit to investing many thousands of dollars in a divorce or a divorce lawyer. They are just not ready.
This mix of emotions and a desire for information tends to put men and women trying to decide whether to divorce in a very awkward position: they want to know all about their rights and options but are ‘frozen’ by fear and confusion and are unwilling to commit to a divorce attorney who can answer all of their questions and provide appropriate counsel and guidance. So, how can this conflict be resolved?
I think I have an answer. It is a new service that I am launching at www.ezdivorceinfo.com
This new divorce information service lets men and women considering divorce to consult with a divorce attorney (me) and to learn all about their rights and options, but without the need to commit emotionally and financially to a divorce or a divorce attorney. There is no ‘sales’ pressure to ‘buy’ a divorce during a ‘free initial consultation’ and the client receives advice and information tailored to their own special circumstances. The client selects the level of commitment they are comfortable with, and I provide whatever level of advice and information the client chooses to receive.
If you are interested in learning more about this service and how it can help men and women gain valuable and specific information about their rights and options in a divorce without having to commit to a divorce or divorce lawyer right away, please visit the site atwww.ezdivorceinfo.com

Today I went to see a therapist. I know, I should have done this a long time ago. But, better late than never.
The reason I met with this therapist is because I am adding mental health counselors and therapists to my network of professionals to whom I can refer my prenup, divorce, and divorce mediation clients when the need arises. I believe it is better for my clients to have several different counselors to choose from, so that the client can select the counselor which is best for them and their own unique needs and circumstances.
And lately the need for these services has increased greatly, in large part due to the increased stress my clients are feeling as a result of the continued economic slowdown in the county.
My new therapist colleague sat me down in her office (I admit it felt a little odd), and encouraged me to talk about what I needed and wanted. So, I explained to her that I was there to learn about her practice and how she could help my clients. We had a nice talk. It was fun.
I don’t know how many of my clients will ultimately meet my new therapist, but the fact that she is there and available to them and to me can only help me and my clients in the long run.
For more information about prenups and divorce in New York, please visit my website at www.GabayLawFirm.com
Tags: DIVORCE, Divorce and Separation, Therapist

It’s finally here! Gov. Patterson signed the no-fault divorce legislation package yesterday, and annonced the signing today. New York now joins the other 49 states in providing for a no-fault divorce. The new law lets a person divorce on the ground that their marriage has been irretrievably broken for 6 months.
However, all issues regarding child custody, child support, spousal maintenance, and property distribution must be resolved prior to the divorce.
The Governor also signed separate bills affecting spousal maintenance and awards of legal fees in divorce actions.
I’m sure that this new legislation will cause tremendous upheaval and uncertainty in the practice and litigation of divorce and family law cases in New York for the next several years, as the Courts, attorneys, and the parties begin to understand, interpret, and work with the new laws. In fact, I’m going to spend the next few weeks reviewing the legislation and counseling my clients about how the new law affects them and their cases and case strategies. It will be an eye-opening experience for sure.
Like all major legal developments in the law, there will be winners and losers. While I do not claim to know who will ultimately benefit and who will suffer from the new law, I do know that Gov. Patterson did not repeal the law of unintended consequences and that most of what we think we know about how the law will work will be wrong in ways we cannot now imagine.
Tags: DIVORCE, Divorce and Separation, Fault, New, No, York

Albany’s CBS WRGB has this report on the status of New York’s no-fault divorce bill: Gov. Patterson intends to sign the bill very soon.
WRGB’s item reports that:
The "No Fault Divorce" bill is now on the desk of Governor David Paterson, who has publically stated that he intends to sign the legislation. If he fails to do so by midnight Saturday, it will automatically become law -- because ten days will have passed since it was delivered by the legislature.
Check back here Sunday for an update.

Suffolk County Supreme Court Justice Jerry Garguilo granted a mother’s request to relocate with her children to Florida over the father’s objections, but with a twist: the mother must provide the father with the Skype video conferencing program and have their two children, a 9 year old girl and a six year old boy, talk to him using the program at least three days a week for one hour each day. The name of the case isBaker v. Baker, and was decided on August 4, 2010.
This appears to be the first reported decision in New York state in which the Court mandated the use of Skype or similar technology as a condition of a relocation.
James and Debra Baker were married in 2000 and divorce in 2008. The former marital home is in foreclosure. Mr. Baker works for a construction company and takes home $600.00 per month. Ms. Baker is a bookkeeper who has been unemployed since December, 2009.
Early this year, Ms. Baker asked the Court for permission to move to Florida with the children, where she would live with her parents and seek a full time job.
Mr. Baker, a recovering alcoholic, objected to the proposed move, and the Court held a hearing in July which lasted two days.
Both Ms. Baker and Mr. Baker were represented by counsel.
In his decision, Justice Garguilo wrote:
The Court will allow the Petitioner to re-locate to Florida. The Petitioner will be directed to reside in her parents' home, with the children, until such time as she finds gainful employment which allows her to secure her own residence suitable for the children. The re-location is conditional. The Petitioner, at her own cost and expense, will see to it, prior to re-location, that the Respondent, as well as the children, are provided the appropriate internet access via a Skype device which allows a real time broadcast of communications between the Respondent and his children. Thereafter, the Petitioner will make the children available three times per week for not less than one hour per connection to communicate via Skype with their father.
I think this is a great decision. Clearly, from the facts of the opinion, there was no real way the mother could afford to live on Long Island, and there was no chance the father could afford to take and care for the children. Allowing the move, and making the move conditional on the Skype visitation, was the best bad choice available to the Court.
The truly interesting aspect of the Skype requirement is that it recognizes the need for children to ‘see’ the non-custodial parent, and that telephone conversations are not enough where there is a cheap video alternative available.
I hope more judges either recommend or impose video conferencing as a visitation requirement in New York in the future.
Just for the record, I posted an item touting the benefits of video visitation on this blog on May 18, 2007, called Virtual Visitation: A Solution for Busy Professionals.
For more information on New York custody and visitation law, please visit www.GabayLawFirm.com
Tags: Child, Child Custody and Visitation, Custody, Relocation, Skype

The Psychology Today blog posted an item yesterday by San Francisco based therapist Susan Pease Gadoua about the deep emotional pain of a divorce. Gadoua writes that:
When a marriage ends, it's not just the pain of losing love that you endure. There's also the sadness at the loss of the dream of living happily ever after and the anger at being unable to trust any kind of permanence.
For some, the plain fact that caused the breakup of the marriage can also add layers of pain - for example, having been cheated on sexually, having had your spouse act irresponsibly with joint finances, or your spouse having had an addiction which, despite his or her love for you, couldn't be given up. This pain can be all-consuming.
For those whose pain has reached this level of suffering, it's important to seek out additional support from friends, family and professionals.
It's important to keep in mind that the pain will eventually pass, life will be whole again (but in new and different ways) and that pain is a necessary part of the grieving process. Those who have gotten on the other side of a bad, painful divorce (or any kind of loss, for that matter), will see how they have grown as a result of going through such a difficult experience.
This description of the emotional pain of a divorce fits a client I saw tonight perfectly. I represent her in a divorce and in a Family Court proceeding in which her husband is asking for an order of protection against her. Her trial is tomorrow morning, and I know it is going to be a very difficult day for her when she faces him in Court and watches him testify against her.
I don’t know how the Judge is going to rule tomorrow, but I do know my client’s life will never be the same when he does.
For more information about New York divorce law and orders of protection, please visit www.GabayLawFirm.com
Tags: DIVORCE, Divorce and Separation, Emotional, Pain

Jennifer Saranow Schultz has a wonderful and interesting post in today’s Bucks Blog of the New York Times: divorce insurance!
Divorce insurance is an option for those worried they’ll end up on the wrong side of the statistics that show so many marriages ending over time in divorce.
According to the post, SafeGuard Guaranty Corp., North Carolina insurance start-up based, recently released what it’s billing as the first world’s first divorce insurance product. Here’s how its WedLock product works.
The casualty insurance is designed to provide financial assistance in the form of cash to cover the costs of a divorce, such as legal proceedings or setting up a new apartment or house. It is sold in “units of protection.” Each unit costs $15.99 per month and provides $1,250 in coverage. So, if you bought 10 units, your initial coverage would be $12,500 and you’d be paying $15.99 per month for each of those units. In addition, every year, the company adds $250 in coverage for each unit.
Then, if you get divorced and your policy has matured (see below for the maturation rules), you would send WedLock proof of your divorce. In return, you’d receive a lump sum of cash equivalent to the amount of coverage you had purchased.
So how does the company prevent people who know they are going to get a divorce from signing up? To prevent that kind of adverse selection, the policies don’t mature until 48 months after their effective date (though people can purchase additional riders to reduce that maturity period to 36 months and to get their premiums back if they happen to divorce before the policy matures).
And what about other possible selection problems related to people with volatile relationships or a family history of divorce purchasing policies in large numbers?John A. Logan, chief executive officer of SafeGuard Guaranty, said the company has performed risk assessment and actuarial studies with this in mind. He notes that even in the worst case scenario, not all of those divorces would happen at once.
Still, it seems that people would be better served by self-insuring, i.e. putting $15.99 per month into a savings account and earning interest, rather than paying for such coverage and then possibly never getting divorced. Plus, some divorces are relatively amicable and may not cost tens of thousands of dollars.
In response to this notion, Mr. Logan said that while people could end up with more money that way, there’s always the chance that money would be squandered by a soon-to-be ex spouse. He also argues that the $250 per-year appreciation per unit is much more than the miniscule returns available today on savings accounts.
“There is nothing to stop your spouse from raiding those investments and taking it all. And then with all the money gone, you’re left with all the legal bills,” said Mr. Logan, who said the idea for the product came from his own experience with a financially painful divorce. In addition, the company’s Web site makes the argument that most people don’t have the discipline to save consistently.
Another possible downside of the coverage: the policies, which are being underwritten by surplus lines insurance company Prime Insurance Company, aren’t covered by any state guaranty funds that would honor them if the provider goes bankrupt. But Mr. Logan said the company plans to have the policies fall under such programs in the future.
To help people determine whether they need the insurance, the company has a Divorce Cost Calculator and a Divorce Probability Calculator, among other similar calculators on its site.
I’m going to do some research and check into this coverage in detail. It might make sense for many people, but not for others. But at first glance, it seems to me like an absolutely fabulous idea for covering some or all of the out of pocket expenses which you incur when you divorce: legal fees, accounting fees, moving costs, and the like.
For more information about divorce in New York, please visit me at www.GabayLawFirm.com
Tags: DIVORCE, Divorce and Separation, Insurance

Has New York's No-Fault Divorce Bill Been Signed Yet? Governor Patterson Says: Yes, Maybe. Only in New York!
Posted on August 5, 2010 by David A. Gabay

Ken Lovett in today’s Daily News politics blog reports that Governor Patterson gave a radio interview today, and had this exchange with John Gambling on WOR-AM:
Asked about no-fault divorce by John Gambling on WOR-AM this morning, Paterson said: "We have it. It exists."
Gambling: "You signed the bill?"
Paterson: "Yes. In all the bills I signed, maybe I don’t remember signing it. Maybe we haven’t signed it yet, but it’s certainly our intention to. 49 other states have it, and I believe that we’ve signed it."
I was talking to opposing counsel on a divorce case yesterday and she actually told me that her client’s position was in part based on the fact that the bill was actually signed and effective. I thought she was out of her mind. Maybe I was too harsh. After all, it seems even the Governor doesn’t know if he signed it, so how could my adversary.
I wonder if I could get away with the Governor’s response the next time a judge asks me if I filed my client’s documents on time with the Court. Somehow, I doubt it.

David has been practicing law in New York for over 10 years, and concentrates his practice in the area ofMore...